There is One Trauma Event.. Universal to All Mankind…….
When it comes to trauma events, we shouldn’t feel we are different or broken through experiencing an event in our lives that intrudes in our daily living; when in actual fact; we all have experienced the traumatic event that is birth. This is not a call to arms to start a witch-hunt against those who might be accused of being responsible. It is my hope that licensed professionals, more qualified that i ,might take up this torch to protect the children on today and the future, and for those already diagnosed, we might look for a different way, that we might consider the concept that they suffer a mental unwellness, an emotional unwellness, a spiritual malady, that there would be hope offered to them that they might recover, that they are not different.
As mentioned in earlier posts, we are all spiritual immortal beings, Creations of God, residing in these physical mortal bodies, with four basic survival instincts :
When the younger aspect of myself was conceived, he lived a whole lifetime in his mothers womb. all his needs met, fed, clothed, temperature controlled, a perfect life. and then in a moment, died a horrible death.
his mother cast him out
his mother rejected him
he was evicted forcibly from his home
he was taken from my womb
he died a horrible death
he came through disconnected from his mum
he didn’t know what was going on and so resorted to his basic survival instincts
and his basic survival instincts would kicked in
IF his first choice was ‘’fight’’, the midwife would wrap him in a blanket to protect him from hurting himself, and in that moment of care, he received the subconscious message that fight doesn’t work &can never be trusted in the future.
If his first choice was ‘’flight’’, the midwife would also wrap him in a blanket to protect me from hurting himself, and in that moment of care, he received the subconscious message that flight doesn’t work & can never be trusted in the future.
If he were using both “fight and flight”, his newfound belief and understanding would be twice as damaging, because he is coming into existence with only one basic survival instinct intact, his least favorite instinct.
And if his first choice was to “freeze”, the midwife would hold him up by the ankles and slap his bottom to get a reaction, and in that moment of care, he received the subconscious message that freeze doesn’t work &can never be trusted in the future.
Were he a child that came out of the womb filled with “acceptance”, he would pass into existence with all my basic survival instincts intact.
Look around you; look at children you know; you knew in your own childhood; your siblings; your classmates; you, yourself; or children /teenagers/adults/clients/ patients/ colleagues in your life today:
children who cannot sit still
children who are overly quiet and subdued
children who fight everything
children who run away physically or withdraw into themselves
children diagnosed with ADHD
children diagnosed with different anxiety disorders
children diagnosed with obsessive, compulsive disorders.
children who are calm, relaxed, in control, confident, assured
The truth is we have all experienced this event; and as we view our timeline; we can better see and understand the how and why of responding or reacting to any form of danger, real or imaginary; this is and always will be dictated to whatever basic survival instincts are left intact.
It would be great if ‘the powers that be’ could create a program, to teach all of us, how to reclaim our broken survival instincts, so that we would handle life's challenges in a healthier manner.
As I bring you into this journey based on my own timeline, i will share how this loss of a basic survival instinct was compounded for my younger self at aged 4.
While I'm here, I may as well connect the two. First, please know my younger self,came from a loving, nurturing home; a middle-class family; where we wanted for little to nothing; plenty of quality family-time; and a healthy upbringing in both family and Christian community.
At aged 4 my mum dropped my younger self off to school and left and he fell apart, it was like he was living a past trauma event all over again. he didn’t know how to cope safely, if he did have some healthy coping mechanism once, it was gone and so he curled up in a corner and cried all day long, and this went of for days.
ABANDONEMENT, REJECTION, GIVEN AWAY, UNPROTECTED, LOST & ALONE, these were some of the demons he suffered
Teased on being a crybaby; a big girl; a mammy’s boy; made fun of; literally had no instinctual way of dealing with what was happening; wanted/needed someone to save him, preferably my mum.
In time he learned that his coping skills, his basic survival skills were truly in tattered and ended up going through most of his life, in fear and terror of the unknown.
And we all travelled one or more of these four paths. this is why I believe my statement in my last blog, that trauma is the root cause of all dysfunctional behavior and mood swings.
The real question is, what are we going to do about it, bury our heads in the sand, or speak up.
Me? I'm a nobody but I pray that the somebodies of this world, might take up the challenge and make the changes that, I believe, need to be made.
Thank you for joining me today, please take the time to share this with your family, friends and colleagues, even your therapists.
We owe it to the children we were our children of today and our future children to correct this.
Remember the wrath of god that befalls on those who would harm one hair of the head of any of his children